Have you noticed a strange sense of déjà vue when you’re visiting websites? That niggling sense that you’ve been there before? That you’ve read the website before – even if your browsing history assures you it’s your first visit?
Don’t worry. It’s not a glitch in the Matrix and you’re not experiencing a temporal loop. It’s simply that a lot of websites rely on clichés and lazy writing. It just feels like you’ve been there before because the writer has fallen back on a bunch of meaningless, time-worn phrases.
Don’t be dispirited. I’ve found a way to make browsing websites fun for you. I call it the ‘Website Cliché Drinking Game’, and it guarantees inebriation within a few clicks of your mouse.
There is only one rule: browse any website and have a shot of alcohol each time you find one of these three phrases:
“We pride ourselves on…”
“We have a proven track record.”
“We have a passion for…”
I guarantee drunkenness within ten websites.
Of course, there are well-written, relevant websites out there. Websites that use intelligent, engaging copy that speaks directly and clearly to the customers – but, sadly, they are the exception. (Modesty (almost) forbids me from mentioning Ryner & Partners, the JLGB Volunteer Campaign or Baxendale Care Home.)
So, if you feel like getting drunk while sitting at your computer – without being tempted to buy that limited edition Luke Skywalker action figure prototype on eBay – my Website Cliché Drinking Game could be just the thing for you. But please browse responsibly.
And if you have a website that needs writing. A website that you’d like to actually engage with your customers, then think about commissioning a copywriter. Or you could just end up having a passion about priding yourself on your proven track record. It’s a sobering thought.